Peace, Love, Planet etc.



Are you ready to die?

I'm not. Of course I'm not. But I'm preparing myself, slowly, because I'm not in a hurry. Now, you never know... 

I was not very brilliant at the shamanic ceremonies. Ten years after my experiences with the Church of Santo Daime in France (at a time when the lawmakers hadn't heard of Ayahuasca yet) I came across Arutam, a NGO dedicated to supporting the indigenous medicines of the Amazon and organised Shamanic immersion journeys in Peru and Ecuador. 

That's how I found myself in the jungle near Iquitos. I call the shamans over there "business shamans": there are a few who know how to get rivers of dollars flowing towards their centres. Never mind, the plant is the plant, your body is your body and once the plant is in your body, the plant is the teacher - that's how you're supposed to take it....

I loved these little huts in the jungle so much!....



I remembered these adventures on Friday morning, in front of the Brazilian Embassy in London, as I was taking pictures of the banners... The Amazon is burning.... There is no planet B... Are we going to go extinct? 

I also remembered words from a native I read somewhere.... He said that even if their tribes and nations disappear, they will still be there, like seeds in the ground, waiting for the time to grow again...

Several times, many times, in ceremonies, I found myself in a state of intense panic. Ayahuasca confronted me, with a feeling of extreme immediacy, to my death, to the reality of the end of this body.... When everything in you shouts that it's NOW, it's NOW!  There is no reasoning out of the terror of the end of the shelter, the refuge, the home. The body.  



Aren't they scared, these people who keep destroying the earth? Are we part of them?... Our species is like a smoker who has read all the documentation, reads "smoking kills" written in dark letters on each packet, but manages to believe that things are alright and will keep being alright. 

 The day the doctor will tell them right in the eyes that their lungs have gone bust will never happen. In case of anxiety, light another fag. Tomorrow we'll stop.

When the end of the shelter is imminent, or when Ayahuasca makes it appear so with maximum intensity, yes, I panic. The worst time I felt like I was about to be thrown into a bottomless pit of darkness, into a state of falling forever in absolute isolation. There was a kind of circular saw turning in the nightmare. I felt I had been a Nazi, that I had had no mercy and that now, my turn had come; there was no mercy to expect, no mercy to beg for...

I don't know who I may have been in past lives. I don't know whether I should just label such an experience "journey into my own  trauma" or if there are real serious karmic charges against me printed in my soul. I don't know... How to be sure of anything? 

All I can say is that when loaded with guilt, this unknown is terrifying...

I have shouted quite a few times, in this state where you can't hide that all you need is to be welcome with love.

Each time, after a time of distress, I don't know how, I had a thought of compassion... This particular time it was for the other participants to the ceremony, those humans like me who have to face this reality...

Each time it was such a simple thought that saved me. The whole thing was somehow turned the other way round when a feeling of compassion and kindness came up from my heart. Then peace came, and trust, and  ecstasy...

May we all be able to remember this, when the times come to lose our shelter. 

I heard my grandfather say in front of my grandmother's grave: there is only one place left in there. It's mine. Well, the later the better!

Wouldn't it be great to live to be a hundred?

There is no planet B. 








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